The Ember Still Burns
Hello World. Nice to meet you, again and again.
I have started and restarted blogging in various forms, time and time again. Here I am again today, restarting for what I hope is the last time but more likely will be another start in an infinite string of starting again. That’s what life is though, right? Consistency is starting over and over, regardless of how many times you stopped, regardless of how many times you “failed”. It’s pushing yourself to start again to keep going. And so I am.
Allow me to introduce to you all this current version of myself. The last time I was here was almost 3 years ago now. Back in 2022, I was (what I now consider) a young, naive, but brave girl armed with a vision and enough passion and courage to shake up her life. I left my job in NYC, my relationship, and all of the comforts of my life, packed up my suitcase, and set off to traverse the world. After spending a few months traveling and unwinding from corporate burnout, I set out to chase after my dreams in India.
The first question almost everyone has for me is “Why India?”, and I honestly understand why many would ask. I grew up in the Western world, having been raised primarily in the USA, but heavily in the UK as well. I had a high-paying career, lived luxuriously by most standards, and had privileges that many in the world dream of. To give all of that up and move to India, where yes — while I was still privileged, life is undoubtedly more difficult — seemed unimaginable to most.
I wish I had a better answer for why I decided to move to India. It felt like something in my soul was calling me. I could either chase that feeling blindly or ignore it and spend the rest of my life wondering “what if”, never truly feeling satisfied. So, I took the plunge. I went to India and allowed myself to fully commit and explore my passions wholeheartedly. I gave myself a year (mostly to appease the elders in my life who definitely were not supportive of me “throwing my life away on a whim”) to fully immerse myself. I volunteered at schools and nonprofit organisations focused on children, got my yoga certification, and lived a Vedic-focused lifestyle. I knew that although I didn’t necessarily have everything planned out, I was aligned in my life and that God was guiding me to exactly where I needed to be. I gave my all to that and surrendered to the experience completely. I felt truly at peace. Life felt as it never had before.
Then, all of a sudden — hours before my dad’s flight to visit me in India — he was rushed to the ER. The doctors found a tumour in his brain that was affecting the entire right side of his body. I rushed back to the US, and that is where this next chapter of my life started. This June 1st will be two years since that day, since the day I became a caregiver to my father. The year that followed has shaped me and will continue to be a foundation for who I am now. I am still unraveling the experiences of grief, of loss, of love and spending the final year of my dad’s life beside him. That girl who left the city with big hope and dreams is still here, under the layers of responsibility and quiet sorrow, a small ember that will always be burning.
This is my story, and this is what I hope to share — to heal and to see the beauty in the world again. To know that even if life has other plans for you, you must keep the faith alive. One day, all of your dreams will come true and they will be greater than you could have even imagined, you just have to keep going.
And so I am.
I have started writing on Substack as well, my publications are currently free and I would love your support, please find me at https://heavenandhely.substack.com/.
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